


right love, wrong time

by fkanicks



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Sports, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Idiots in Love, lol, the first chapter is more angsty than i intended
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-14
Updated: 2019-09-15
Packaged: 2020-06-27 21:49:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19798453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fkanicks/pseuds/fkanicks
Summary: Lena Luthor receives terrible news after a big win. She immediately flies home with Kara Danvers-her best friend on the team and well, in life-who happens to be the person she's been secretly hooking up with for the past few months.With everything else happening and settling down, she finally works up the nerve to talk to Kara about what they're doing.But things don't always go as planned.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hi, lol. 
> 
> i know i should be working on htbm, but this one would not leave me alone especially with the women's world cup ending and me developing a crush on a certain player (#23 you have my heart). 
> 
> but regardless, here's this little story that i've thought about and it should be a short one, probably 2-3 more chapters. 
> 
> enjoy :)

She felt her phone vibrate in her jacket pocket, stopping her from celebrating with her teammates over their big win. Instead of continuing to jump like she had been for the past fifteen minutes as soon as the team walked into the locker room, Lena pulled her phone out to see five missed calls from her father and two missed calls from her brother, Lex, within the past three minutes.

Lena glanced at the blonde woman next to her, who looked mildly concerned why she wasn’t yelling and jumping anymore. 

“I’ll be right back,” She mouthed to Kara, pointing at her phone and tilting her head to the door. Her friend nodded, then started to jump again, chanting along with the rest of the team as champagne bottles were being broken out.

She quickly walked out of the locker room—a little further down the hall than she thought she would since the noise was loud—calling her brother back since his were the most recent.

He picked up after the first ring.

“ _Lena?_ ” His voice sounded hoarse, and she heard him sniffling.

“What’s up Lex? We just won against Brazil, and—”

“ _Mom died_.”

Her stomach dropped.

“She wh-what?”

“ _She died, Lena_ ,” His voice broke.

It suddenly became difficult to breathe. Lena leaned her body against the wall, trying to hold it together. But the ground seemed to sway under her feet, so she slid down the wall, sitting with her knees bent and elbows resting on them.

“ _Lena,_ ” She heard Lex’s voice, not realizing that he had probably been talking.

“What?” Lena didn’t recognize her own voice.

“ _I’m sorry_ ,” He responded, which Lena knew he said that to make her feel anything than what she felt right now.

Lena cleared her throat, shaking her head to stop the tears pricking her eyes, “Don’t. I’ll be home tomorrow. As soon as we’re done here, I’ll head straight to the airport.”

The team’s game was in London. Thankfully Metropolis was only an eight-hour flight across the Atlantic.

“ _Okay, Lena_ ,” Her brother said, knowing that if he said any more, he’d set her off. “ _I’ll see you soon. Be safe, okay?_ ”

“Yeah,” Lena said flatly.

Without waiting for her brother’s response, she let her arm fall to her side and stared at ahead. After a few moments, she threw her phone into the opposing wall—the glass screen shattering into pieces, falling to the ground.

Lena hung her head in between her knees, hands behind her neck, looking down at the ground when her vision started to blur. The tears she had been holding in threatened to fall, but she closed her eyes.

Her mother just _died_.

They spoke briefly before the game. Her mother wished her luck, told her how proud she was, and even slipped in a teasing comment about Kara before she had to go out for warm-ups.

_“Come on, iníon. I’ve seen the way you two are around each other, you’re telling me there’s_ nothing _going on?”_

_“Mom, she’s my best friend. I can’t do anything if the fans and media think we’re together,” Lena defended, knowing this wouldn’t be the last of this conversation._

But Lena didn’t know that would be _the_ last conversation she had with her mother, ever.

She felt a tear roll down her cheek and quickly wiped it away, but it opened a floodgate and she couldn’t control it. Her body started to shake, resulting in her crying into her forearms.

Lena didn’t hear the locker room door swing open nor the footsteps coming towards her. She didn’t bother to look up, knowing that it would be one of her teammates.

“Lena? What’re you— _Lena!_ ” It sounded like Sam, but she wasn’t sure. All she felt was a body drop down to her, placing a hand on her shoulder. The blood in her body rushed to her ears, muffling everything around her. “Kelly, get Kara!” The voice yelled down the hall.

The hand began to rub soothing circles up and down her arm, occasionally squeezing lightly in comfort. Lena didn’t know what she needed right now, but she _knew_ that she had to get home. Though, her body wouldn’t move. She felt stuck. The tears continued to fall and it felt like someone punched her straight in the stomach, but she _had_ to move.

After a few minutes, an all-too familiar voice yelled, “What happened?!”

Lena automatically knew who that was.

Before she could even respond, Lena was pulled into another body—the comforting hand thrown off her shoulder—with two arms wrapped around her waist. She began sobbing into the crook of Kara’s neck. The hands on her body moving up and down to calm her.

“My mom died,” She mumbled into Kara’s body, loud enough for only Kara to hear her. The hands stopped moving for a fraction of a second, but tightened, pulling Lena’s body closer.

“I’m here for you,” Kara whispered into her ear. “Whatever you need.”

“I need to go home,” Lena choked out through sobs.

“Let’s go home.”

\--

The past 24 hours had been a blur.

Lena was going through the motions, barely speaking to anyone. She only spoke when needed, but it was mostly Kara making sure she ate and stayed hydrated. She also had to use Kara’s phone for most things since her shattered phone was probably still on the floor, somewhere in the arena.

Her team—especially Sam, Kelly, and Eve—stayed with her. Eve made the small mistake of asking Lena what exactly happened, causing her to snap at the younger girl (because in all honesty, she didn’t even know what happened). Eve apologized, and Kara accepted the apology on her behalf because Lena shoved her headphones in, blasting music and blocking out the rest of the world.

The way she physically felt did not match how she felt emotionally.

Physically, her body ached.

She played the whole game yesterday. Her legs were sore and her head slightly hurt from bumping with another player towards the end of the game. She didn’t even realize the huge bruise on the side of her shin until Kara pointed it out.

It was likely when someone slid tackle in front of her, tumbling over the player, which caused her to lay on the ground for a couple minutes. She vaguely remembered jumping up right away as soon as it happened, but fell down just as fast cause of the pain. She continued playing after shaking her leg out, yelling that she was fine to Coach Grant.

Emotionally (and mentally), she was at a loss for words.

No words could describe what she felt.

How do you describe the loss of a parent?

You don’t.

The odds are highly likely that a child would see their parents die in their lifetime, but it was usually a little later in life.

Not if the child was 29 and the parent was only 55.

It wasn’t even a full day since Lex called her, and her heart felt heavy and the weight of the world was on her shoulders. She wanted to cry, but she was trying _so_ hard to keep her composure.

That failed miserably because as soon as her and Kara—who wouldn’t leave her side, and volunteered to fly back with her—got their bags after going through security, she broke down and fell to her knees. Kara didn’t say anything when it happened, only grabbed their bags and sat down right next to her until it subsided. She felt the eyes and huffs of annoyance of the other travelers on them as they retrieved their bags, but it didn’t matter.

At that point, nothing mattered.

The flight was awful.

She couldn’t stop fidgeting and moving around, but Kara never said a word about it or complained. Instead of making her talk about what she was feeling, the blonde placed her hand on Lena’s thigh, which stayed there the whole flight as Lena woke up from a restless sleep with her head resting against Kara’s shoulder.

Lex was there, waiting for the two girls. Kara saw him first as Lena kept her head down. She felt a gentle tap on her arm to get her attention, which she looked at crystal blue eyes giving her a small smile and a nod to look in front of her.

She noticed her big brother, giving her a sad smile, and ran as fast as her legs would take her into his arms, wrapping her arms around his neck. She felt his body shake and heard him hiccup, and she squeezed tighter, relishing in the comfort and security that just _maybe_ they’ll get through this.

“Hi Lex,” Kara said quietly, as Lena felt her stand behind them.

Lex pulled back from their embrace, but keeping his arms wrapped around his little sister, “Kara, hey. Thanks for going with her.”

“Of course, anything for her,” Kara said honestly.

Lena didn’t miss the subtle glance her brother gave her, which she internally rolled her eyes at. Her mother and Lex wholeheartedly believed that there was something going on between them within the past year, but Lena vehemently denied that there was _absolutely_ nothing going on.

Except for that one time in Spain.

And for that other time in Chicago.

And well…

That was besides the point.

Whatever happened between her and Kara were between the two of them, and she wasn’t going to admit to her family that maybe, _yes_ , there was something there. The two had yet to have an actual conversation about what they _were_ and just acted like friends (which they were), with just a little more—maybe a lot more if Lena let herself think about it too long. 

There was speculation with their other teammates that they were dating, which Kara’s older sister, Alex, called them out about their relationship after one practice a couple months ago. Lena didn’t say anything, and neither did Kara. Except, the blonde chucked a ball at her sister’s head and walked away. They still speculated, and neither of them said anything to confirm or deny it.

“Shall we go to the hospital?” Lex asked, breaking Lena out of her thoughts.

She took a step back, distancing herself from her brother. Tilting her head in confusion, “Wait why?”

Lex mirrored his little sister with furrowed eyebrows, “She’s not dead _dead_ yet. She’s on life support. I told dad to wait until you got back.”

“What the hell does that even mean?” She raised her voice, starting to get agitated with her brother since apparently her mother wasn’t actually dead.

“She’s on life support. She’s brain dead. She had an aneurysm, but it was too late by the time they took her into surgery,” Lex snapped back. “Did you not hear what I said to you yesterday?”

Lena looked back at Kara, shrugging and unsure of how to diffuse the situation, “No, I guess I didn’t. You opened the conversation with ‘mom died,’ or do you not remember?”

“Oh fuck off Lena,” Lex rolled his eyes at his sister’s comment. “She is dead. I asked—practically begged—dad to keep her on until you got back so you could say bye.”

_Oh_.

That made sense.

She sighed, “I’m sorry. I wasn’t paying attention when you were talking.”

Lex shrugged, shaking his head, “No, no, it’s okay. I understand. Let’s go.” Her brother turned around, walking in the direction of the parking garage.

She started to follow him with Kara in tow, but stopped moving, which caused Kara to bump into the smaller girl.

“Lena,” Kara tapped her shoulder, and Lena felt her lip tremble. The blonde maneuvered herself where she stood directly in front of Lena. She felt her chin be lifted, staring at Kara’s eyes (one of the many features that Lena admired). “I’m with you, okay?”

She saw Kara’s gaze briefly look down, but brought it back to her. She had a feeling about what Kara wanted to do, but knew that this wasn’t the time nor place especially with Lex nearby. “Okay.” She whispered.

“Come on,” Kara took a small step back, turning her body slight to a waiting Lex, who witnessed the whole thing.

Lena saw the small smirk forming on Lex’s mouth, but rolled her eyes at him. He walked away before she said anything.

She took Kara’s hand in hers, interlacing their fingers. She heard a quiet gasp come from the blonde, but she quickly recovered with a squeeze.

“You sure?” Kara asked quietly as they began walking, somewhat shocked at the gesture.

“I’m not,” Lena said earnestly. “But I need this.” She held their hands up between them.

“Whatever you need,” Kara brought Lena’s hand to her lips, giving it a soft kiss.

\--

The moment she saw her mother laying on the hospital bed, hooked up to a ventilator, she would’ve collapsed on the ground if it wasn’t for Kara standing right next to her.

Kara was quick to wrap her arms around Lena’s waist. She broke out in sobs, turning her body into the blonde’s and letting the tears fall easily, seeing no point in trying to hold the emotions in.

_This is it_ , she thought as she turned back around to face her mother’s lifeless body.

She was immediately engulfed in another hug and smelled her father’s familiar cologne that her mother always thought he put too much on. “Lena,” Her father, Lionel, said hoarsely. He had been crying, which she wouldn’t have expected anything less.

“Dad,” She felt Kara’s arms unwrap, knowing that she wouldn’t want to impose. She gave her a grateful smile, as Kara stepped back.

“I’m going to get something from the cafeteria,” Kara announced quietly.

“I’ll go with,” Lex added.

The two slipped out of the room, leaving the father and daughter alone while the machine made a wheezing sound. Lionel leaned back to get a good look at his daughter while Lena stared at her mother.

“I’ll let you say your goodbye and be back in a bit,” Lionel said, kissing Lena’s forehead.

“Okay,” She agreed. Giving his daughter one more kiss on the head and a small squeeze, Lionel turned to leave, quietly shutting the door behind him.

When the door clicked, Lena slowly made her way to the side of the bed.

It seemed surreal to her that this was actually happening. Less than 48 hours ago, her mother was alive, sending her messages about bringing back a specific tea she needed from Harrods and asking her what she wanted to eat so the food would be ready when they got back.

She pulled up a chair next to the bed for her to sit and grabbed her mother’s hand, which was still warm, squeezing tightly. She felt the tears pricking behind her eyes, begging to fall, but she knew that she needed to say this so she took a deep breath to gain some sense of composure.

“Hi mom,” She began, not knowing exactly where she wanted to go with this. “So this happened, huh?” She chuckled sadly, knowing this wasn’t the right time for a joke, but this was how it was going to start.

“I can’t believe it, to be honest. I was just talking with you before the game, which we won by the way. I didn’t score, but Sam and Kara did. We won, 2-1. It was a good game, I think. I don’t really remember since I hit my head hard, going for a header, which I completely missed and hit another player’s head instead. Kara made fun of me for how off I was right after it happened, and I have a feeling that you would’ve too,” She smiled at the memory.

“Anyways, Lex explained to me what happened on our way here,” She sniffled, clearing her throat before she continued. “You had an aneurysm burst in your brain, but you didn’t know about said aneurysm, which was why what happened… Happened. I wish that I was home. I don’t think it would’ve changed the outcome, but at least I would’ve been here. There’s only so much I could say, but it doesn’t amount to what it actually means. As cliché—which you know I loathe clichés—as it is sounds, I wish we had more time together. I’ve known you my whole life, and now I have to learn how to live the rest of my life without you in it.” 

A tear rolled down her cheek, but she didn’t wipe it and kept talking, letting the tears fall freely, “Which I think I’ll be able to do. I don’t know when it’ll happen or how, but I think you raised me to be a strong woman. Actually, I know you did because you made me who I am. That’s something I’ll forever be in your debt for. That’s also something I’ll never be able to thank you for. But I have a feeling that I’ll still make you proud, even if you’re not here to witness it.

“I do have something kind of important to tell you too, something I just _know_ you might’ve had an actual heart attack over,” She smiled fondly, using her other hand to brush back her mother’s hair. “So you know how you’ve been on my ass about Kara? Well I’ve been lying to you for the past…eight or so months. It happened when in Barcelona when we had that friendlies game against Spain, me and Kara had a drunken night and we sorta kinda hooked up. We laughed about it the morning after and said that it didn’t change anything. But then it happened again… And again, and well… You get the picture.”

Lena paused, thinking to herself that she was going to admit it out loud to her mother, “I love her. I’m in love with her, she doesn’t know it and we haven’t exactly defined what we’re doing, but I know that this is a little deeper than just friends and a lot more serious than a fling. I wish you were here to give me advice on what I should do, but I have a feeling you would just tell me to figure it out on my own cause this is something you can’t help me with.”

She heard a knock to see her dad, brother, and Kara standing in the doorway, which Lena gave them a small nod, letting them know it was okay for them to come in.

“Anyways, the gang’s back. I love you, mom. Thanks for everything you’ve done. I know you’ll be with me every day in everything I do,” Finishing up her little speech, she stood up and gave her mom one final kiss on the head.

Lena closed her eyes, taking a deep breath and stepped back. She walked towards Kara, which the blonde wrapped her arm around her shoulders, pulling her close.

It prompted an eyebrow raise from her father and chuckle from her brother. She decided to ignore them, for now. She knew the inquisition would come later.

Kara turned her head, bringing her lips to Lena’s temple and gave her a small kiss. She kept the closeness and Lena made no motion to push her away. She mumbled against her head and asked the question Lena knew she had been wanting to ask since she told her what happened, “You okay?”

“I will be.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy! :)

The following week was hectic, to put it lightly. It was more chaotic than anything else.

Lena knew that there was a lot that went into planning a funeral, but she didn’t expect to be _this_ busy. She felt like she couldn’t grieve because of everything else going on. They had to plan the arrangements of where their mother was to be buried along with the memorial service, catering, and whatever else.

It started to blur together.

She wasn’t sure how she was doing it, but she was.

It may have also had something to do with Kara being by her side the whole time, but she didn’t want to dwell on _that_ just yet.

Her and Lex tried to take as much of the burden off of their father by having him do very little so he could mourn the loss of the love of his life. She heard her father crying behind closed doors, but she knew not to hover because she could only imagine the pain he was in. The siblings let him help when he could or thought his input would matter, but other than that, they did most of the work.

The amount of people that attended the evening memorial services astounded Lena.

Family members from across the country and her mother’s homeland of Ireland flew in, which after witnessing her mother’s younger sister collapse on the ground was something that would be engrained in her memory. Old friends and former teammates from her youth league and college team showed up to pay their respects, knowing that her mom was always there to give a ride or provide snacks after games. The rest of the national team came a couple days after Kara and her arrived.

The night before the funeral, Lena gave her eulogy at the final service. She wrote stuff down beforehand, thinking that she would read it off. But as soon as she stood up in a room filled of people with somber faces—the very same people who gave their condolences throughout the week—the words on the paper looked foreign.

So she did what she said she wouldn’t and spoke candidly.

_“Hi, for those of you who don’t know who I am, I’m Lena, Lillian’s daughter or the one she liked better than Lex,” That little comment garnered a few laughs. “I had something prepared.” She held up the tear stained piece of paper and placed it back down. “I just don’t think it’s exactly matching what I’m feeling right now. Lex wanted me to go last night, because he knows how on edge I’ve been this whole week with planning and making sure things run smoothly. I told him no, obviously. I still haven’t processed and worked it out, but I know for one that my mother did pretty well with raising Lex and I._

_“My father had a hand in it too, of course. But well… The things my mother did for us was above and beyond. She dealt with Lex and I’s fights growing up, which if you were there during those times, you knew exactly how riled up we got. There was one time where she literally left me at the supermarket because I took raw shrimp and shoved it in his mouth, knowing that he was deathly allergic to seafood and had to take Lex to the emergency room.”_

_The crowd erupted in light laughter, which even garnered a fond smile from her father._

_“Anyways, besides all the antics Lex and I got up to, she really made sure that she was there for us in everything we did. Whether that was violin lessons, soccer, karate, basketball, and whatever else we tried, she was always there to make sure we_ knew _we had support. Which if you know my mom, that is an accomplishment in itself because she worked as an investment banker. She ran all over the place to make sure we made it on time to practice, games, school events. The list goes on. There was a point where my mom sat me and Lex down, saying that we needed to pick just one thing to focus on._

_“Lex chose basketball and I chose soccer. The rest was history. She was our number one fan. Never missing a game, even if there was a conflict in schedules, she made it work. In hindsight, I didn’t realize how tired and exhausting we were because of what we were involved in, but she never complained. She did so much for us and I can’t speak for Lex,” Tears started to form, but she closed her eyes and took a deep breath, clearing her throat before continuing, “and I can never repay her for everything she’s done. I swore that once I made it as a professional soccer player, I’d repay her back. And when I did, I tried handing her a check of ten grand, thinking that it was enough for everything. You know what she did?”_

_The room was quiet as everyone waited for her to continue, “She ripped the check in half, saying that being her daughter and doing what I loved was repayment enough.” Her voice cracked. “So from that day forward, I did little things with her and for her. I bought her small gifts I knew she had her eye on, but didn’t want to quite spend the money yet. I took her and my father out on trips—anything really because I knew that no matter how much I spent or what we did; it would not amount to the love she gave us._

_“I just hope that one day I’ll be half the woman she was. I know she’ll be with me every day, and I’ll make her proud.”_

When she finished her speech, there were tears in everyone’s eyes. Her brother was smiling at her through tears, while her father was crying, dabbing his face with his handkerchief. When she met Kara’s gaze in the front row, she gave a sad smile and choked back her tears until she was able to move from her spot and towards her. The blonde wrapped her arm around Lena’s shoulder, pulling her close to comfort her and kissed her forehead. 

\--

It wasn’t until later that evening where Kara and her were laying down on her bed, where Lena’s head rested on the blonde’s chest—the rise and fall of her breath putting her at ease.

The moment she walked into her childhood house after the hospital visit earlier that week, she felt uncomfortable and was hit with a melancholic tug on her heart. Her mother always yelled to greet whoever entered the house, even if she didn’t know who was coming over.

When she was met with silence and the steps of the other people, carrying and rearranging the luggage, she had to sit down on the nearest couch (her mother had filled their large living room with an assortment of couches throughout the years). Her brother knew what was going through her head and just gave a sympathetic squeeze on the shoulder.

Kara had offered to sleep in the guest room or the couch, but she wouldn’t allow it. She knew that she _needed_ the comfort and closeness, she’d end up crawling to wherever the blonde was or drag her back to her room.

“Wanna know a fun fact?” Kara asked, which she nodded against the blonde’s chest. “Did you know koalas don’t drink water?”

“Why on earth would I know that?” She retorted.

“I don’t know, most people wouldn’t. I just thought it was cool,” Kara voiced and added, “Oh yeah! And the word ‘koala’ translates into ‘no water,’ what’s the irony in that?”

“You’re such a dork,” Lena mumbled against her chest.

“I am, but I thought it’d take your mind off things, ya know… with tomorrow—”

“Kara, I’m burying my mother tomorrow. Nothing is going to take my mind off that,” Lena cut off, pushing herself off the blonde and rolling to the other side of the bed.

“Hey,” She felt the blonde reach over, but she shrugged it away. “Lena don’t be like this.”

“Like what?”

“Like _this_. I know what you’re feeling, and shutting me out isn’t going to do either of us any good,” Kara justified.

If anyone would know how she felt right now, it would be Kara.

Her parents died in a car accident as a young child.

“Just let me fucking grieve, Kara. I haven’t had the chance to because of all this shit happening. You hovering isn’t making it possible. I don’t _need_ you to make me feel better,” Lena snapped, instantly regretting the words as soon as they came out.

She heard a huff and felt the other side of the bed move, “Fine. I’ll leave. I’m calling a Lyft. I’ll be at the hotel with the girls. Call if you need anything.”

She didn’t turn around, but she listened to the blonde moves things around and a bag zipping. Kara must’ve seen that she hadn’t changed positions and sighed, “See you in the morning.”

The door opened and shut quietly, leaving her all alone.

\--

She couldn’t sleep. She tossed and turned, but could not stop her mind from going into overdrive.

She didn’t realize how much she was used to having someone sleep with her, especially if that someone _was_ Kara.

She was too stubborn to stop her from leaving.

She was even more prideful to call her, asking her to come back.

She knew she fucked up.

She was up and ready way before she needed to be. She opted to sit in the living room instead of waiting for her family, alone in her room. She turned on the television to fill the silence. She wasn’t paying attention. She blankly stared at the screen, playing a show about a girl with a family curse with some gun.

There was a knock on the front door, bringing her out of her mindless stupor. She got up, walked to door, and opened to Kara wearing a black pant suit and a small smile on her face.

They regarded each other, not saying anything.

“Morning,” The blonde broke the silence first.

“Good morning,” Lena said quietly, stepping to the side to let Kara walk through the threshold.

Once the blonde stepped inside, they stood awkwardly, not really knowing what to say. They’ve had arguments before, but none that resulted in the other walking out. It was usually worked out before either of them went to sleep. And if it was when they weren’t physically together, they would talk on the phone or face time, if needed.

She heard footsteps coming down the stairs, and saw her brother slowing as soon as he made it to the bottom. He looked between the two girls, unsure of what was going on, “Oh, were you at the door? Did you not stay here last night?”

Before she could reply, Kara said, “Oh no, I stayed here. Alex needed something, so I left to drop it off.”

Lena shot her a pointed look, not understanding why she lied, but Kara just forced a smile.

“Okay, would either of you like coffee?” Lex offered, making his way into the kitchen.

“Sure,” Kara replied after him, before bringing her attention back to her. “Look, Lena—”

“Not now,” She replied softly, which thankfully (depending on how one looked at it) the blonde let it go.

\--

The burial was…

It was what it was.

She stayed between her brother and father the whole time, while Kara stood across from them with the rest of the team.

She surprised herself by not crying, which how could she? When all she felt inside was empty and hollow. She knew that she’d cry later, an emotional breakdown likely imminent.

So here she was, sitting on the top of the stairs, watching the guests eat and make conversation about who knows what in her family living room, avoiding people. She was supposed to be interacting with them, but she was so _tired_ of it. She just wanted to be alone. No more people coming up to her, talking about how great her mother was and all that. She _knew_ that, she didn’t need to be constantly reminded of it.

She was hitting her breaking point and needed to release it _somehow_.

She closed her eyes, leaning against the stair awning.

After a few minutes of listening to the noise below, trying to collect her thoughts, she heard the stairs creak. She didn’t need to open her eyes to know _exactly_ who it was that took the empty space next to her.

“Can we talk?”

Opening her eyes, she stood up, not saying a word. She walked towards her room, down the hallway, knowing that Kara would follow. She sat on her bed while the blonde stood in the doorway, leaning against the frame.

“You can come in.”

Tired. Exhausted. Sad. Drained.

She wanted to feel anything _else_.

Something else.

Kara quietly shut the door and sat next to her, leaving a noticeable space between them. Both women facing forward, not making eye contact.

The silence was deafening. This was the first time in their relationship where it was just _awkward_. They didn’t do awkward. If it was every silent between them, it was comfortable.

Not this.

Swallowing her pride, she spoke first.

“I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” Kara said softly.

She didn’t deserve her kindness, not with how she had been acting within the past 24 hours.

“I do,” Her lip started to tremble. The tears that didn’t fall earlier were quickly coming to a front. “You don’t deserve that. I’m—”

“Stop,” Lena finally looked to see the blonde staring intensely at her. The crystal blue eyes shining with unshed tears, she started to feel overwhelmed with emotions. “You have _nothing_ to be sorry for. Your mom just died. You’re allowed to have tantrums. You’re allowed to snap. You’re allowed to _feel_ what you’re feeling.”

She remained silent, so Kara continued to speak.

“I’m not mad at you. I’m not. I was upset with what happened. But it happens. I was getting worried about the lack of outbursts versus you actually having one. I just wasn’t prepared,” She chuckled. “I want to be there for you. I _am_ here for you. I will be here for you through this. Whatever you need right?” The blonde scooted closer, their legs touching.

Kara kept talking, but she couldn’t focus on what was being said. She felt her body warm up at the sudden closeness. She didn’t know what effect Kara had on her. But she latched on to how the blonde’s voice made her feel.

Calm.

Relaxed.

And slightly turned on.

Without thinking, she straddled Kara, effectively stopping whatever she was saying and Lena saw the surprised face as her arms wrapped around the blonde’s neck. 

“Lena, wh-what’re you doing?” Kara stuttered out, but she hesitated, but still placed her hands around the brunette’s waist, keeping a light hold on her body.

“I need this,” She brought her face close to the blonde’s, feeling the warmth of her breath. “Please,” she whispered.

“Are you sure?” Kara asked, the hands on her body slightly tightening.

She was getting an out.

Leave it to Kara for being chivalrous and noble through everything, not wanting to pressure or take advantage of the emotional state she was in.

“Yes,” Lena closed her eyes, bringing her lips to the blonde’s.

Her brain shut off.

The only thing she felt was Kara.

Kara’s lips on hers.

The hands on her body, pulling her flush against her solid form.

It was different from their previous trysts.

They had fast, passionate, hungry moments multiple times.

This time was _different_.

She didn’t allow herself to think about what it was, but just let it be.

She kissed Kara eagerly, desperate for the closeness, which was met with the same eagerness.

She brought her hands down to Kara’s suit jacket, which she practically tore it off her body. The blonde’s hands traced down Lena’s blouse, untucking it from the skirt she wore. Quickly taking her hands away, Kara pulled the shirt off her body, not paying attention to where she threw it.

“Lena,” Kara said lowly against her lips, feeling the familiar pull between her legs. “ _Fuck._ ”

The blonde stood up, flipping their positions with Lena flat on her back and Kara hovering over her.

“Kara,” She moaned as she tried to lift her head up, searching for Kara’s lips back on hers.

“No,” Kara brought her hands above her head, eliciting another loud moan.

It was _hot_ when Kara took control.

“Let me,” Kara whispered, bringing her lips down to Lena’s neck, which she eagerly turned her head.

As the blonde trailed her lips lower, she squirmed against the firm body, seeking friction between her legs.

“Please,” She begged, the sensations of Kara’s soft lips making her lose her mind.

“Be quiet,” The blonde commanded. “There are people downstairs. We wouldn’t want them to know how loud you. How you sound when you come. Or do you?”

“ _Fuck_.”

Kara used one hand to keep her hands above her head while her other hand traced the bottom her skirt, slowly bringing it up. She rolled her body into the hand, moaning softly as the fingers continued moving towards where Lena needed her most. The blonde brought her lips back to Lena’s, trying to muffle the moans that she couldn’t control.

But as soon as Kara’s fingers traced her center, she moaned loudly against the tongue and lips trying to quiet her.

It was useless.

She was drenched, more than willing to do _anything_ for Kara to just—

“You’re so wet,” Kara whispered, bringing her hand quickly pulled her underwear down.

Kara’s fingers were back on her before her next breath. The next thing she knew, she was moaning _loudly_ at the sudden pressure. The fingers inside her stopped, Kara brought her mouth to Lena’s ear, “If you don’t stay quiet, I’ll stop.”

Lena whimpered, biting her lip and nodding. She knew that Kara would keep her promise if she didn’t do what she said.

The rhythm slowly began, causing Lena to meet her thrusts with her hips. It was building up and she knew she wouldn’t be able to last. She brought her lips to Kara’s, moaning, “I’m going to—”

“Come.”

And she did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading! i slightly apologize for making the first chapter a lot more than angsty than intended. i did find people's comments funny tho, lol. anyways, thanks for reading again. i appreciate it! see ya in the next one! 
> 
> \-- 
> 
> i also added another chapter because i figured why the hell not, heheh


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy :)

When she opened her eyes, the sunlight peeked through the window blinds. She glanced at the clock on her nightstand, noting it was still early.

Early enough that she knew the sleeping body next to her wouldn't want to be awaken quite yet.

She smiled fondly at the blonde, gently sweeping the hair messily covering her face. She leaned over to give a small kiss on her forehead.

Stretching back, her body ached. She reveled in the soreness because for the first time this week, she felt lighter. Her mother’s death will be something she thinks about every day, but today was one of the better days.

She snuck out of the bed, stealthily moving the arm that was slung across her waist, searching for clothes to go downstairs to make coffee and breakfast.

It was the least she could do.

And maybe they could sit down and finally talk about what _this_ was.

Before leaving the room, she turned to see the blonde holding a pillow close to her body. She smiled, quietly shutting the door behind her.

\--

She realized that there was no food in the pantry or inside the fridge.

She thought there would've been leftover catering, but apparently not.

She made a pot of coffee, knowing that they'd likely go out for breakfast. _Maybe Lex and dad will wanna join_ , she thought.

The coffee maker beeped, signaling the finished product. She took a seat at the table, scrolling through her phone until her she heard footsteps nearing to see her brother sifting through the mail.

"Lena, what's this letter from a European league?" Lex asked, stopping her from the sip of coffee she was in dire need of to stay awake.

The blonde thoroughly exhausted her after the fourth round, insisting on a fifth and she was too drunk and delirious on the sensations to deny her. Kara chose a pace that gradually brought her to climax, having to muffle her voice by biting down hard on a pillow.

She cleared her throat, glancing at the letter package her brother held up, "You just described it."

"Yes, you twit, but why are they sending you one? It looks like a contract, not just an offer letter. You're not looking to play overseas again, are you?"

She forgot the conversation with her agent about p _ossibly_ playing in Sweden once national team obligations were over. She didn’t give it any thought because she had more important things to worry about. Her contract with the Metropolis Titans was up for renewal after this season, so there was an option for her to go play overseas.

“I’m not going to,” Lena said firmly. 

Lex clicked his tongue and raised an eyebrow, “You know it wouldn’t be the worse thing.”

“Sorry, what?”

“It wouldn’t be the worse thing,” Lex repeated, adding, “If you went to play overseas.”

“What about you and dad?” Lena countered, placing the mug down on the table.

“What about us?” Her brother scoffed. “This isn’t about _us_. This is about you. Me and dad will be okay. It’s only a, what, four? At most, a six-month stint? It’s not like we wouldn’t visit you.”

"I just don't think it'd be the right thing to do right now," Lena said indifferently, reaching to hold her mug in her hands, the warmth emanating to keep her relaxed.

"Is this about Kara?" Leave it to Lex to never sugar coat things.

"No. Why would she have any weight in my decision?" She huffed, starting to get annoyed with her brother's comment.

"Because you're in love with her."

"H-how? What are you even talking about?" Lena denied, but by the way he was looking at her, he saw straight through her.

"Lena," Lex started as he took the seat across from her. "Do you realize how many people asked me when you and Kara got together? Every night, people would come up to me. Lana started laughing and would answer because after the third person questioned me, I was prepared to have you make an official announcement."

She guessed they weren't doing a good job at keeping their relationship (or whatever) it was secret.

It was one thing if people you see consistently notice.

It was a whole other story if people you hadn't seen in months to years have something to say.

"What'd Lana say?" Lena deflected, knowing that his brother's girlfriend wouldn't throw her under the bus.

"That you guys are dating," Her eyes widened at the shit-eating grin her brother forming on his face.

"She said _that_?" Her voice slightly raising, but controlled the volume before she woke up the house.

He shrugged indifferently, not adding anything more. Lena knew that this conversation was inevitable, but having it the morning after burying their mother seemed proper.

_Might as well keep the emotions high_ , she thought darkly.

"Ask what you want to ask, I know you want to."

"Are you and Kara together?"

"No," She replied honestly, because they weren't.

At least officially.

But over the past few months, she realized that what they were doing was more than what platonic friends would do.

Even more than two people casually dating.

"No?" He raised in eyebrow. “The little love bites you have all over your neck seem to say otherwise.”

"No," Lena sighed, bringing her hand up to cover her neck. "We're not. We haven't exactly talked about what we're doing."

It sounded pathetic after saying it out loud for the first time.

"Well, what have you guys been doing?" Lex asks, starting to look genuinely concerned because he knew how his sister functioned in relationships.

\--

So she started from the beginning, focusing on the mug as she recalled the past few months.

\--

The first time in Spain after she scored the winning goal, drinking a little too much because of peer pressure from Maggie and Sam to celebrate. The drinking lowering her inhibitions with someone she harbored a crush on for years. The blatant flirting from both parties (even though Kara drank half of what she did). The walk to the hotel with the blonde's arm loosely slung over her shoulder, as they laughed down the street with their teammates acting goofily, jumping on each other for piggy back rides and purposely tripping each other. Kara offering to walk her back to her room, leading to the blonde being pushed up against the door before barely making it inside. Their lips touching and moving with such fervor that she felt like she could combust at any moment. Falling on the king sized bed and the rest of the night filled with blissful passion she never experienced with anyone else.

The morning after, which was met with an awkward silence as soon as they both woke up, realizing they were naked under the covers. They laughed until their stomach hurt with tears in their eyes, agreeing that this doesn't change their friendship and it was a one-time thing.

But it wasn’t a one-time thing.

The second time in Chicago when their league teams played had a match a month after Spain. Though Kara's team won, she invited Lena to her apartment after to relax - just the two of them. She didn't think anything would happen, but then after a couple glasses of wine and the heated glances Kara kept throwing her way, she ended up with the blonde's head between your legs to make her feel better over the loss (at least that was what she told herself).

Then everything else that followed.

The last minute trips to each other's cities when there was a break in their schedule, which had Lena flying to Chicago more within the past year than she'd ever been.

The drawer she unconsciously cleared for Kara's stuff, even the blonde gave her closet space by arranging the stacks of shoeboxes into another room.

The beach vacation getaways that they strategically planned after their respective seasons were over and the one they snuck in prior to national team season starting.

The night before the team had to travel to London was when she realized that she was _in love_ with Kara.

\--

They weren't doing anything. They were lounging around on Lena's sofa, and Kara asked her what she wanted for dinner.

_"Take out tonight?" Kara asked, as she absentmindedly scrolled through her social media feed._

_"Yeah sure," She replied. Feeling the space next to her move, she looked up to see the blonde dash into the kitchen, pulling out the multiple take out menus that have piled up within the past couple months—mainly because Lena was hardly ever home to cook._

_"Chinese?" Kara held up the menu to a restaurant they frequented, smiling brightly._

_"Potstickers? Again?" She teased._

_The blonde mocked offense, "Again?" She held the menu against her chest. "We're going to London for the next couple weeks, I doubt Coach Grant will let us eat like shit. You know how she gets. And you_ know _Alex won’t let me eat junk food. It’ll be salads and smoothies, gross." Her face scrunched up at the mention of salad._

_"Fine," Lena playfully rolled her eyes, knowing that she didn't really need to be convinced. The blonde air pumped over the decision, which she chuckled._

_She glanced at her phone to see a message from Sam, asking if she needed anti-nausea medication for the flight. She quickly typed out a response and brought her attention back to Kara, who was excitedly chatting on the phone with Mr. Chan about food._

_She must've been staring for a while because Kara covered the phone, mouthing, "What?"_

_She shook her head, shyly smiling and the blonde smiled back before going back to the conversation._

_Her little smirk, the sound of her laugh, the crinkles her eyes make when she smiled, the pout she gives whenever she was denied food._

_The tone of her voice - soft and deep - always able to calm Lena's nerves and had the ability to seduce her begging for_ more _, the slight itch behind her rib cage whenever she sees the blonde (even if it's only been a few hours)._

_Culminating to something she had felt previously before, but not to this intensity, this depth, this feeling she knew she had been feeling all along—_

_"Holy shit," Lena said quietly, but just loud enough for the blonde's supersonic hearing to pick up, forcing her to turn around, giving a concerned looked. "Nothing," She replied, but it wasn't_ nothing _._

_A raised eyebrow, not quite believing her, but she shook her head, Kara shrugged, finishing up the order._

_"It'll be about half an hour, then I'll go run down and get it," Kara said, placing the phone on the counter. The blonde walked back, plopping herself down next to Lena. "Why do you look problematic?"_

_Give it to Kara to sense when something was off, she gave a tight smile and shrugged, "I'm not problematic."_

_"You're being weird."_

_"I'm not."_

_"You are," Kara leaned closer, throwing her arm over the sofa back. "Did you not want Chinese? We could've gotten Noonan's or something."_

_"No it's not that," Lena replied, looking away, feeling the heat rush to her face because of how easily Kara could read her._

_"Then what?"_

_"Nothing."_

_She was met with a curious look, but didn't press the issue, "Okay."_

_Instead of replying, Lena turned her head to give a quick kiss on Kara's cheek, leading to the blonde to lean more into her personal space, "What do you want? The couch is big enough."_

_"Another kiss."_

_How could she refuse?_

\--

She looked up to a confused look on Lex's face. She saw the wheels turning, trying to make sense of the situation (she couldn’t even sense of it herself).

"So you guys _are_ together?" He asked, after a moment of silence.

"No. I just said we weren’t. What part of anything I said made it seem like we're together?"

"You're serious?"

"What? Say what you want to say. I don’t have the patience for your bullshit right now," The slight irritation Lena felt towards her brother began to increase.

“You’ve _literally_ described a relationship,” He paused, thinking of what to say next. “Granted, I didn’t really need the detail of Kara’s head between your legs—we’ve never been traditional siblings to begin with—but literally that is what a relationship is.”

“It probably is, but we never defined it,” Lena argued, sighing at how her brother saw things so black and white.

“Who cares about defining a relationship? You know this better than anyone, do you not recall Roulette?” Lex pointed out.

“Roulette’s different and you know it. She was the first person I fell in love with while at university,” Lena said, trying to keep her cool before she yelled at her brother.

“Yeah and you guys were together for over three years, without even talking about it! It was assumed because of how much time you guys spent together and the _fact_ that you brought her home one year.”

“This is different!”

“ _How?_ ” Lex asked bluntly.

“Because it’s _Kara_. I work with her. I travel with her. I play soccer against and _with_ her. The amount of time we spend together is way more than my relationship with Roulette, and you know it.”

“I feel like you’re making excuses,” She was, but she wasn’t going to admit that. “Regardless, you need to talk to her about it. I’m sure she feels the same way. She would not leave your side.”

“She’s just being a good friend!”

Lex scoffed, “Yeah, whatever you say little sister. You can call her a friend, but it runs _a lot_ deeper and if you don’t figure it soon, it’s going to blow up in your face.”

“I know,” She rolled her eyes.

She heard footsteps and saw Kara rubbing her eyes, “Good morning, sleepy head.”

The blonde yawned and walked over to take the seat next to Lena, “Morning.” She leaned to kiss her on the cheek.

Lena’s eyes widened and saw from the corner of her eye the biggest smirk from Lex.

“Well _good morning_ ,” Lex announced. “Anyone up for Denny’s?”

Lena rolled her eyes while Kara perked up at the mention of food.

“I’ll get dad,” Lex chuckled, standing up and giving Lena a thumbs up.

“Fuck off,” She mouthed while the blonde leaned on her shoulder, reaching for the cup of coffee on the table.

\--

"We're getting dinner with the team tonight," Lena announced, after reading a text from Sam and laying her head back down on the pillow.

"Okay," Kara said simply. She saw the blonde get up beside her. "What time?"

"In about an hour or so," Lena replied, as Kara shuffled through her belongings, deciding on what to wear. "Go casual."

"Pfft, casual?" Kara mocked. "So I can wear sweats and a hat?"

She rolled her eyes, though the blonde had a point. Most of her wardrobe consisted of athletic wear, and whenever they had to get dressed for any formal occasion (Eve’s wedding, for example), it was a struggle since she conveniently 'forgot' such apparel. But Lena had learned over the past couple years of rooming together was to keep a spare outfit.

"Just wear jeans and a button up," Lena responded as she watched Kara pull said clothes. She held up two colors, silently asking for advice, "Go with the navy, it brings out your eyes."

"My eyes hmmm?" Kara wiggled her eyebrows, throwing the other shirt back on her luggage.

"Yes, it makes you look cute."

"Careful, we wouldn't want people to know that you think I'm attractive or something," The blonde teased, a slight flush forming on the back of Lena's neck.

_If only you knew,_ she thought.

She watched as Kara pulled her shirt off, switching for the button up, while she hummed quietly a song while doing a little dance.

It felt different than the times before.

It wasn't that she hadn't seen Kara change. Traveling on a team and rooming together, it was likely you'd see the other person with minimum to no clothing. At this point, they've all seen each other naked.

The sudden realization she experienced before London caused her to see Kara in a whole new light.

It felt more intimate, more personal.

Not _just_ friends.

But the problem was...

She didn't know how Kara felt about her.

If Kara felt anything at all.

She can do all these things with someone, but if it's never actually addressed, it could be two different situations. People miscommunicate. Feelings get hurt.

It becomes a huge mess.

She didn't know if she could handle not having Kara in her life.

She thought that it would be better to settle for friendship even though she wanted so much more.

She had to right? Who else would do all these things for someone if they didn’t like them to an extent?

"What's going on in the that head of yours?" Kara's voice suddenly breaking her out of her thoughts.

She shook her head, "Nothing. Just thinking what time we should leave tomorrow to bring you to the airport. You know how traffic gets."

The blonde had to return back to Chicago for her team. The other girls had to return to their respective cities as well. They were given a week or so off after London, but with her mother's death, most spent it in Metropolis.

"Why are you worrying about that?" Kara asked, walking to where she was sitting on the bed and standing next to Lena.

"I'm not," Lena said indifferently.

"Talk to me?" Kara asked again, but brought her hand to caress her face.

Before Lena could respond, Kara's phone rang, effectively ruining the words that have been threatening to fall from her mouth. The blonde sighed, "That's probably Alex. We'll talk about it after dinner, okay?" Lena nodded, and she was met with a brief kiss to her forehead.

The blonde sauntered to her phone, answering with a cheerful, "Hey Alex! What's up?" She shot Lena a grin and walked into the bathroom.

She sighed again, staring at the blonde's retreating form. There wasn't really an opportune time for her to just confess her feelings. Being swept up in planning and the funeral itself didn't exactly give her time.

But last night had been a lot more intense for her.

Not that any time they slept together wasn't intense. Kara's stamina was a force to be reckoned with and knew exactly how to make her fall apart. They hadn't slept with each other since before they left for Europe.

For her, feelings she hadn't experienced in a long time came back with full force and then some. She wasn't sure if she'd experience these strong of feelings. Sure, she'd been in love before, but never like this.

"So Alex asked if we wanted to go to a club after dinner?" Lena heard the blonde's question as she walked back into the room. "She thinks it'd be a nice way to send us all off before we go back."

"Sure, if you want to," Lena said, rolling over in a sad attempt to pull herself out of bed, but just stayed there.

"What do you want to do?" She felt the blonde's weight dip the bed.

"Let's go out," Lena replied. "We haven't been spending that much time with the team and we all have league games next weekend. Might as well."

"You sure?" Kara was giving her an out. If Lena didn't want to go out, the blonde would stay with her.

"Yeah, it's fine. I'll get ready. Are you drinking tonight?" She asked, swinging her legs to the edge of the bed.

"Nah," Kara said nonchalantly. "Not really feeling it. I can be DD if you wanna drink!"

"Let's just take a lyft or something," She stood up, walking towards her closet.

"What why?" Kara's voice echoed in her closet.

"You know how the team gets," She responded, staring at her wardrobe. Opting for a simple black dress with a low neck line, she walked back out to a confused Kara laying down on her elbows.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"They'll pressure you into drinking and I know you've had one hell of a week too," Lena shrugged, tossing the dress next to the blonde's body and pulling the oversized shirt over her head. "You deserve it, ya know? It shouldn't be just me drinking."

She mindlessly threw her shirt over the pile of laundry and brought her attention back to Kara, who didn't say anything. Instead the blonde's mouth was slightly open with an all too familiar heated gaze.

She was topless, because why would she wear a bra in her room? Especially if they were lounging around for most of the day. She was left in only a cheeky black lace thong.

"You act like you haven't seen me naked before," She smirked while Kara audibly gulped.

"I-I have," Kara's voice sounded hoarse.

She slowly walked towards the blonde, who was slightly gripping the blanket, "You look tense."

"N-n-nope!" The tone in her voice fluctuated high as soon as Lena straddled her lap. The blonde's hands automatically went to her hips to steady her. "Definitely not."

“How opposed are you to being on time?” Lena asked, leaning down to nip at the blonde’s ear. She felt her breath hitch.

“None whatsoever,” Kara murmured, tilting her head to give more access to Lena.

“Let’s be a little late then,” Lena whispered, bringing their lips together.

\--

They were late.

Alex gave a side-eye that didn't go unnoticed by Lena while Sam pointed out the obvious hickey on Kara's neck that Lena told her to pop the collar to hide it. The blonde shrugged, unfazed by the teasing.

Dinner went well. For a party of twelve, they surprisingly didn't get any complaints from neighboring tables, something that happened frequently.

It kept her distracted, listening to what everyone did during the free time and events that happened in London.

"So club?" Maggie offered once the bill was settled.

Everyone nodded. The energy at the table shifted from calm to a buzzing excitement.

Some of the girls started drinking light with their meal. Sam and Maggie opted for shots of tequila before the food came while a couple others opted for a glass of wine. Lena herself felt a mild buzz with by the time she finished her second old fashioned.

She couldn't stop herself from touching Kara, whether it was their knees or her hand placed low on her thigh. The blonde had her arm lazily slung over Lena's chair, which didn't stop Alex from looking in their direction.

"Ready to go?" Kara asked, pulling up the rideshare app on her phone. "I'm calling a car. Alex and Sam are riding with us."

"Sounds good," Lena said, grabbing her stuff as everyone did the same.

"Yo little Danvers, come take a shot with us at the bar! Lena you too!" The team's goalie, Nia Nal, yelled over.

Lena shook her head when Kara looked at her, "You go ahead, I'm a bit buzzed from my drink."

Kara smiled and gave a quick kiss on her cheek, mumbling out, "I'll be right back." She hurried over to the bar where a few of their teammates were.

"So you and Kara?" Alex's voice popped out of nowhere, slightly scaring Lena.

"What about me and Kara?" Lena decided playing dumb might be able to get her out of this conversation _again_.

The breakfast with her father and brother still fresh in her mind, where she endured the same knowing looks and smirks from Lex. While her father, remained oblivious to the siblings, kept talking Kara’s ear off about whether or not her league team was going to have a playoff berth.

"You guys a thing now or what?" Alex asked.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Lena replied, glancing over to the team cheer-sing and kicking back the shots. She saw Kara's slightly disgusted face once she took it and smiled.

"Everyone on the team knows something's going on. I mean, her kissing you on the cheek makes it more obvious."

Lena shrugged. This was getting ridiculous. She knew that this would be a hell of a lot easier if she talked to Kara. “I’ll let you know when we figure it out ourselves.”

Alex rolled her eyes, “Typical. Well, whatever kid. If you need any help talking to that one.” She pointed to her sister who was making a poor attempt to push back the shot handed to her. “Let me know. She can be a bit dense sometimes.”

Alex took it that the conversation was over with her lack of response. “I’ll meet you both outside. I’m gonna find Sam.”

Lena hummed as the older sister stood up, leaving her alone at the table. She downed the rest of her drink and went over to where her teammates were at the bar. Kara saw her first and immediately walked towards her, bringing her arm around Lena’s shoulder.

“I’ve had two shots.”

“Figured you couldn’t get away from them shoving shots your way,” Lena teased as Kara leaned her forehead against Lena’s cheek.

“Whatever,” The blonde muttered. “The car’s here.”

“Let’s go. I saw Alex look for Sam, they’re probably outside already,” Lena started to move, but Kara’s weight kept her from getting anywhere. She slightly turned her head to see the blonde staring at her. “What? Is there something on my face?”

“No, there isn’t,” Kara said dreamily. “You’re just so pretty.”

“And you’re getting drunk,” Lena felt her face heat up at the comment said nonchalantly.

“So? I’m just telling the truth,” Which Lena knew the blonde meant it in the sincerest way.

“I know,” Lena smiled, giving Kara a quick kiss on the lips, who was stupidly smiling at the gesture.

Lena gently pulled the blonde towards the door.

“They’re so cute together,” She overheard one of her teammates say.

“Can’t believe they’re finally together. Took them long enough.”

Lena smiled while Kara began rambling about how she wanted Chinese food, even though they just ate.

Since everyone around them thought they were together, maybe it was time they actually _be_ together.

\--

“No more shots, please,” Lena groaned against Kara’s body, holding on tightly with her arms wrapped around the blonde’s midsection.

“We’re not doing anymore shots. I’m getting us more water,” Kara said, talking loudly over the music and slightly overcrowded bar.

The group showed up to the club a couple hours ago with the drinks flowing freely among them. Maggie was the enabler, handing each player a shot of what started as vodka, but turned into tequila soon after the third shot. Kara was in the right of state of mind to say no after the second shot and switched to water. She had been sober for the past hour, watching over everyone.

Lena, on the other hand, went shot for shot with Maggie and Sam. She lost track of how much she drank, but she _knew_ that she was very much drunk and would have been in worse shape if it wasn’t for Kara forcing her to drink water after each shot. She likely would have been blacked out by now. Eve had to take Nia back to their hotel since the goalie almost got into a fight with the bouncer.

“Come on, let’s go head back to the table,” Kara grabbed the two glasses of water on the bar with Lena attached to her like a koala.

Her eyes drooped as soon as she sat down, still holding onto Kara as if her life depended on it. The blonde brought the glass to her lips, which she reluctantly drank. The water felt nice as she gulped. There was slight headache forming behind her eyes, but she kept them closed, cuddling into Kara’s body even though they were already as close as they could be.

“Maybe you both should head home,” The voice sounded like Alex, but Lena couldn’t tell with the music playing.

“We will, just giving Lena a second,” Kara replied.

“You guys are cute together,” Another voice chimed in.

Lena felt the blonde’s body laugh, “Thanks, but we’re not together.”

“No?”

“We’re not,” Kara said firmly. “We’re just friends.”

Lena stiffened at the response. It struck a chord, sobering her up. It might be the alcohol induced haze she was in, but she knew that they weren’t _just_ friends.

“Then why do you guys act like you’re a couple?” The voice prodded.

“We do?” 

“You’re kidding right?” Lena knew that voice was Alex’s.

“I don’t know what you guys are talking about,” Lena internally sighed at Kara’s obliviousness.

“Dude, you two are practically attached at the hip and you have hickeys all over your neck. Unless you snuck out within the past 24 hours, it seems like you’re a lot more than just friends,” Alex said, which Lena picked up on the slight annoyed tone being conveyed.

“Yeah, but…” Kara trailed off, unsure of how to respond.

Lena couldn’t take it anymore. She lifted her head off Kara’s shoulder and unwrapped her arms. She stood up, swaying a little bit but was able to find her balance. The conversation between Kara, Alex, and the owner of the voice being Kelly sobered her up and effectively ruined her night.

“Hey, where are you going?” Kara asked as soon as she let go.

“Back to my house.”

“Okay, I’ll come with—” Lena held her hand up.

“No, just stay with Alex and Kelly. I’ll call Lex,” Lena said firmly.

She didn’t bother waiting for Kara to reply, turning her back on her teammates and getting out of the club as soon as she could.

Taking in the crisp night air as she stepped out of the building, she called Lex. He picked up after the third ring, confused as to why she called when he knew they were going out and that she was with Kara. She didn’t bother explaining what happened and asked if he could pick her up. He didn’t ask any other questions, and said he’ll be there in twenty.

Lena leaned against the building, near the entrance of the club so Lex would see her. The conversation between Kara and her teammates was messing with her head. The blonde seemed genuinely surprised that people thought they were a couple. She couldn’t wrap her head around the idea that Kara thought they were friends. Friends don’t exactly have sex with each other and do everything they’ve done, unless Kara had a different definition of friends.

Maybe she needed to sleep it off.

The alcohol she consumed was still in her system and wasn’t helping her think straight. Even though she knew that they needed to talk about it _soon_.

The club’s entrance door swung open and Lena saw a frantic Kara searching for something. Once Kara turned and saw her, a look of relief flashed on her face.

“Oh thank god, I was wondering where you went,” Kara said once she walked up to Lena.

“I told you I’m going back to my house. Lex is on his way,” Lena said, surprised at how even her voice sounded.

“Cool,” Kara nodded. “I’ll tell Alex and Kelly that I’m going home with you. They should be out soon.”

Before the blonde could walk off, Lena tugged on her shirt sleeve. “No, you’re going back to the hotel with them.”

“What?” Kara’s eyebrows furrowed as Lena dropped her hand. “Why?”

“Because.”

“That’s not a reason,” Kara countered. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong, I just want to be alone tonight.”

“No, something’s changed in the last fifteen minutes,” Kara argued, crossing her arms as she stared at Lena.

_Guess this is going to happen tonight. Sleep be damned_ , Lena thought bitterly.

“Do you genuinely believe that we’re just friends?” Kara looked taken aback at the question.

“We’re best friends,” Kara replied simply.

“You’re serious? You just think we’re friends?”

“What else would we be?”

“I’m in love with you.”

“You’re wh-what?” Kara stuttered.

“I’m in love with you,” Lena said firmly, saying it a second time with a little more confidence.

But it was futile.

The look on Kara’s face told Lena everything she needed to know. She looked so… shocked.

As if falling in love was never on the table.

“You can’t be,” Kara reasoned. “Your mother just died. You’re confused about what you’re feeling and—”

“I’m not,” Lena cut her off. “I’ve known before London. Where do you get off telling me how I feel?”

“Lena, I—”

“No save it. I don’t want to hear it. I must’ve read everything we’ve been doing for the past year fucking wrong,” She blinked back the tears that formed. “I need space. I can’t do this.”

She heard her name being called on the street to see her brother in his car window rolled down, a concerned expression on his face as he likely witnessed part of their exchange.

“I’m sorry,” Lena gave a sad smile. “I thought this was something, but I was wrong. I’ll have Lex bring your stuff to the hotel tomorrow before your flight.”

She gave Kara a final kiss on the lips and ran to the idle car.

“Lena, wait!” She heard the desperation in Kara’s voice, but didn’t stop.

As soon as she jumped into the car, Lex looked at her.

“Just go,” She croaked out.

“Are you sure?” Lex tilted his head, giving her an option.

“No, but please just go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading! next chapter's going to have a bit of time jump, see ya then :)


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